21.5 months

My last post (which I never posted bc I never finished writing it and now it doesnt apply as much) was super positive. Right after my last post (what, 2 month ago? whoops) my skin showed incredible healing. It was like overnight the texture changed - elephant skin thinned out a bit, skin got softer, redness turned into ashy skin, it was really amazing. Of course since then Ive been flaring a lot but that's par for the course. My baseline is much better though. I'm still super itchy and my skin is quite sore (I am flaring right now) but I know that it is so much better than before. I even have hope that I might heal in the next year! Dr Rapaport actually estimates sooner but I am skeptical. It's hard to imagine after so much suffering that this will end. I do believe it will take some time to get used to not being "sick" anymore. At the same time, I am itching to live life again. No pun intended, ha! Whereas before, I had no interest. So that's good!

STILL stuffering from the valium withdrawal. It has improved since stopping about 2 months ago but still has a ways to go. Insomnia is my worst symptom - in fact, it is the only symptom that hasn't really improved much. The others - irritability, depression, anger, mood swings, body aches, sweats, muscle twitches, head pressure - have all improved notably. They've gone from occurring almost every day to just 1-2x a week. But the insomnia is crazy....
I've said it before but I'm going to say it again - If you are going through TSW and considering medication to help with the anxiety or insomnia, dont do it!!! Stay away from the benzodiazapines. It is not worth it. It's just another invisible disease that is embarrassing to explain.

Here are pictures of what my skin is looking like or has looked like these past few weeks and months.

Neck has been acting up again.

My elbow crooks are now a problem.

Behind my knee, drying up.

A few weeks later. It's definitely better but is in the "healing pain" stage - where the pain is due to scabs forming and trying to heal but I keep scratching them off bc they hurt too much. Once I scratch them off, I have mobility again and the pain is decreased. Also, the scratching of the scab produces the ooze that acts as a moisturizer for a bit.

Hands are superrrr dry.

Also have this dryness on my right palm fingers, as well as splits all over my knuckles.

All in all, I know I'm healing. It's nice to know I'm at least in the 2nd half of this thing and the worst is behind me. I can't wait to find out if I do have eczema after all this.