Friday, November 27, 2015

23 months

WOW. I can't believe it's been almost 2 full years since stopping topical steroids. To be exact, it's been 23 months and 2 days. And I am healing!!! I even went to a wedding last week, wore makeup, and drank alcohol with no major setback. I am flaring a little but nothing compared to what I was expecting. Last year, I went to a wedding around the 6 month mark and remember having to almost scrape the makeup off my face. That was the last time I wore makeup until this past week. Now, like I mentioned, I am flaring a bit. But I've come to the conclusion that in most cases, a flare is not caused by anything. It just happens. With that said, this flare felt a little different. My neck was really hot and itchy. So while it could have been due to the alcohol, I think it's actually due to stress, if due to anything at all. Last week, the night of the wedding, my family suffered a terrible loss. My mom's boyfriend of 12 years passed suddenly, and quite traumatically, right in front of her. So about a day later is when I started flaring. Maybe they're connected, maybe they're not. All I know is somehow I've been handling it pretty well. I think because I've had to be strong for my mom. I've never seen her affected by anything like this has affected her and it is just so heartbreaking. But I always try to find the silver lining in any situation. And as days go on, I've been able to do just that. So for that I'm grateful. This kind of situation forces you to stop and take stock of your life. I had already known there were changes I wanted to make once all this stuff was over but losing Kevin only reignites that fire by making me realize how precious life is. Here are some examples:
1. School - I want to go back to school! For holistic nutrition. I've always been interested in nutrition, and even applied to grad school a few years back but didn't end up going because I wanted to start a family instead. Now I realize it doesn't have to be one or the other. I can be a good mom and wife while pursuing my own dreams. I think doing so will actually make me a better mom and wife.
2. Positive outlook - I realize there are times where I'm negative and it sort of just comes out without me even realizing it. I'd really like to change that. I've already been making a conscious effort to do so but I want to shift my whole outlook on life to be super zen. Stress = bad.
3. Yoga - again, I want to be super zen. I dont plan on going back to my old exercise regime which was basically just cardio because that's bad for the adrenals and thyroid, both of which I have problems with. I just want to do fun and revitalizing stuff.
4. Natural living - I want to detox my life. This is going to be more difficult because my husband is innately against anything "healthy" so it turns into a fight if it affects him in any way. I've started small - changed to more natural hygiene and cleaning products - but would eventually like to make my own.
5. Make a difference - I don't know how exactly but this will end up tying with #1 somehow. Our food system in America really pisses me off. I won't go into more detail because I could go on and on forever. Which is why I need to go to school to have an outlet for this kind of stuff since my husband is so against it.

I will post a bunch of pictures soon!